I will be one of the first to tell you: I hate wearing shapewear.
I mean it! Going to special occasions and having to wrestle that tight spandex underwear up and over all my rolls, squishing my insides together to fit into an otherwise well-fitting dress, was a downright nightmare! It was either feeling as though I couldn’t breathe, or have my legs tingling as though they would fall off from no circulation.
Of course, there was always the option of not wearing shapewear. But really, who wants to go to a wedding dressed like an ill-wrapped burrito? It may be tasty as all heck on the inside, but presentation is half the plate in itself.
If I’m going to a wedding, benefit dinner, or any other sort of celebration, I want to go looking like a pleasantly plump goddess with a million bucks in her pocket just because.
My options seemed pretty clear: I either a) go on some sort of over extensive diet/workout regimen that takes up half of my day, or b) stay holed up in my home for the rest of my life, staring wistfully at photos friends and family post on social media, wishing I was there.
This was right around the time when Shapermint ads started popping up.
At first, I was deeply skeptical. For all I knew, this was just another one of those scammy products that promise instant beauty or fitness, only to deliver empty hopes and derision.
But after a while, seeing the ads pop up time and time again and pouring copious amounts of effort into research and reviews, I decided ‘what the hell? Why not? Might as well try something.’
I bought two pairs. It was a Memorial Day sale, so I ended up with a great price.
Finally, after waiting a week and a half, the shapewear came in the mail.
As I opened the package and held one of the pieces up to my body, the dread immediately kicked in. Fully stretched out, the shapewear wouldn’t reach both hips at the same time. I thought, well damn. This is just going to be a total waste of money!
And yet, I still resigned myself to trying the product to its fullest capacity.
Off came the shorts, and slowly went on the shapewear. I could feel the disappointment grow steadily as the fabric started to struggle past my ham-sized thighs.
Suddenly, as smooth as glass, up went the shapewear. Past my thighs, past my hips, over my belly, and resting gently under the Ladies.
No struggle. No swearing. No strenuous tugging like a person trying to pull out a cork that’s inherently glued to the insides of a wine bottle.
I felt like Cinderella in that moment. Only, instead of a magical shoe made of glass, it’s shapewear made of elastics, nylon, and unicorn hair.
*Note, I don’t actually know if unicorn hair was used in the making, but it wouldn’t surprise me, honestly. *
It took a couple minutes for my brain to process what my body was wearing.
For one thing, I could actually breathe like a normal person. My legs didn’t feel as though they were being slowly sawn off via fabric, and I could move around without feeling constrained.
I put my shorts back on, looked in the mirror, and did a double take. My shirt fit with room to spare, my shorts didn’t give me an instant muffin top, and I didn’t feel sweaty.
If I looked this great with just a t-shirt and shorts on, imagine how awesome I’d look in a dress!
I can’t wait to attend weddings now! Bring on the celebrations!
For any and all women who’ve had just as much trouble as I have to find decent shapewear without busting a hole in your wallet, I would recommend giving Shapermint a try.
Also, to answer any doubts – no, I’m not being paid by Shapermint to give this review. This is all on me.
But if anyone from Shapermint reads this and wants to pay me for my honest opinion, send me an email so I can give you the mailing address for my check.
L.J. LaBree 