L.J. LaBree

One of the many traits my family sees as positive in cats are their skills as “hunters”.

By “hunting”, we mean they fall somewhere on a spectrum between playing with toy mice on one end, and catching a bat while it’s flying around in my parents’ bedroom at the other.

It’s no secret that we’ve had a few impressive hunters residing with us in this house.

Otis was one example. Our little mountain lion (he was a tabby, but his coloring and facial features reminded us of his giant cousins who live in the wild), was one of the truly impressive hunters we’ve owned; he caught 7 mice within the span of two seasons, and would often come charging to your rescue if you thought you saw one in the middle of your princess-purple-carpeted floor (for the record, it was a lucky rabbit’s foot).

Of course, Sabrina gave him a run for his money – that flying bat at one end of the spectrum? Yeah, she set that record.

Long story short, a bat somehow got into my parents’ room, she chased it, mom then heard flapping, turned on the light, and watched in excited horror as our tiny Sabrina launched herself into the air and caught the poor thing between her claws. Mom managed to catch it before the little tiger did any real damage and let it go outside.

This summer, we’ve found our newest addition, Sadie, has certainly earned a place on the bat end of the spectrum. However, she does lose points for playing with the poor creature for too long, resulting in my parents trapping the mouse under a broom and smashing it multiple times with a fist.

R.I.P. little dude.

One cat I did NOT expect to move up on the spectrum was Spooky.

We’ve had her for quite a few years now – we found her under our bird feeder a week before Halloween my Senior year in high school – and we’ve watched her interact with both toy and live mice. If she doesn’t have to get up, she won’t.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case around 3:30 this morning.

I had finally fallen asleep around 1-ish, when I woke to hear one of the cats consistently calling for one of the humans. The closeness of the call told me it was Spooky, since she often sleeps in my room. Thinking she had puked, and that I didn’t want to wake up for that yet, I called back to her and patted my bed. I could feel the mattress give slightly as she hopped up, but she was still mewing. This is something she normally does when she’s bored and wants attention, so I decided to stay quiet and let her settle on her own.

Next thing I knew, I felt something small plop on my chest, then roll over to my side. Confusion arose hard and quick. I grabbed my phone and hit the power button to wake it up. My eyes managed to focus enough for me to see one beady black eye, soft grey fur, and a long limp tail.

Of course I screamed, lurched myself out of my bed, and held the dead carcass by the tip of the tail as I raced down the stairs, unbolted the doors, and threw the body out into the garden.

Was I shocked my normally lazy cat had presented me with her kill? Yes, yes I was. This was definitely not something you would ever expect from her.

Once I calmed down and washed my hands (vigorously), I immediately praised Spooky for catching and killing the mouse.

But I also had to tell her that presenting the kill at three in the morning was not one of her best ideas.

Thought of the Day

Grilled Chocolate Chip Cookies: I tried it!

August 3, 2020August 3, 2020 L.J. LaBree

I’ve had a hankering for homemade chocolate chip cookies for quite some time.

There’s just one problem: It’s hotter than Hades wearing a Speedo and swan-diving into an active volcano. (There’s a nice image to put into your head…)

On top of that, I was invited to a bachelorette party this past weekend and since we’re going to be drinking tons of different types of wine, what better to pair the flutes with than No-Bakes and Chocolate Chip cookies?

So, what do you do when you want to bake sugary delights in the middle of a heat wave?

Grill it!

No, I don’t actually grill the cookies like I would a chicken thigh or a T-bone steak. Instead, I’ve read you treat the grill like you would any conventional oven.

Seemed easy enough. I’ve seen tons of videos where people use home-made dutch ovens and cook foods next to a bustling fire, so a gas grill couldn’t be that much different. (remind me to tell you about this modern-day goddess who lives in the high mountains of China! She’s awesome!)

Attempting to use the grill for cookies…

Heh, well, shame on me for thinking anything I want to try off the cuff would go smoothly.

I should have remembered my dad constantly complaining about his grill, and begging my mom to make room in the budget for a new one. One that especially lights itself and doesn’t run the risk of burning your eyebrows off when you attempt to light the burners.

And especially one where the temperature goes above 250 degrees.

So, in my creative problem-solving brain, I thought, hey, I’m sure baking the cookies at 250 is okay, just cook longer. It’ll be fine.

Right…

I ended up baby-sitting the grill for over 35 minutes, and ended up with flatter than pancake cookies that bend and twist like warm caramel.

They still taste good, though.

With that in mind, I decided it would be better to suffer in the kitchen with an oven that can heat to 350 and let me finish baking these cookies.

For the record, the kitchen wasn’t that hot – totally bearable! – and the cookies came out just as I wanted them to: thick, chewy, and melted chocolate chips that pull apart like taffy.

Thought of the Day

Rest in Peace, Aunt Mona

July 24, 2020 L.J. LaBree

Late Tuesday night, my world crumbled a little more.

I woke up Wednesday to see a message from one of my cousins: my Great-Aunt Mona had passed in her sleep.

It wasn’t a long message; there weren’t any flowery soliloquies, no enrapturing monologues. It was short and simple – something my family has a tendency to lean toward: short, precise, and straight to the point.

Unless we’re telling a story. Then we really get into the details and flowery cross-stitched words.

My aunt was a spit-fire, to be sure!

She was a woman who loved telling stories, whether it be about her travels or helping her sister-in-law wrangle her little ball of erratic endless energy that was my father.

In fact, one of her favorite stories to tell was when she had my then four-year-old dad all cleaned up, dressed in a crisp white shirt and blue trousers, and having to tell that little boy not to go jumping in puddles. Of course, being the little mischievous child that he was, my dad had no desire to listen. Instead, he glared at my aunt through his (according to her memory) severely scratched up coke-bottle glasses and huffed, “I’ll tell my mumma on you.”

Without even skipping a beat, my aunt responded, “uh-huh. Sure you will, Teddy.”

Well, my father must have been one hell of an annoying child, because it wasn’t long after where my aunt had to kick him out of the house so she could clean.

That was a big mistake.

Aunt Mona happened to look up through the window a few minutes later, and held in a silent prayer.

My father was scrunched down as cloooose to the ground as he could, balancing on his tippy-toes, peering into a giant, muddy, rain puddle.

It wasn’t long after that when my father trudged into the house, completely soaked.

I will miss my aunt terribly. I will miss her stories about my family, and I will miss sitting at her feet, listening to everyone’s mismatched words and feeling her motherly energies so similar to my own Nana.

She was 93 years old when she passed, so I know she lived a good long life. But that doesn’t take the sting away from the loss.

Still, I’d like to think of her as sitting alongside her sisters and my Nana, eating all the lobster she can and gossiping about heaven only knows what.

Though she may be physically gone from this world, I believe my family has gained another angel.

I’ll miss you, Aunt Mona.

Thought of the Day

Happy 4th Everyone!

July 5, 2020 L.J. LaBree

Happy Independence Day, everyone!

I know, I know, publishing two blog pieces in one day is not my usual thing, but I wanted to wish you all a happy strange holiday we’re all experiencing.

Normally, my family would spend this holiday either attending one of the many parades held here in Maine, go out to eat in one of our favorite local mom-and-pop restaurants, or relax by the ocean on one of the dozens of beaches our state has to offer.

But that was before Covid.

This Fourth of July, however, we’ve decided to do things a little differently. Because most parades and firework showings have been cancelled, we felt it would be better, and safer, for us to stay home and putter around the house. Well, Mom had to work today, but Dad and I stayed home.

While he was out in the garage working on fixing the four-wheeler, I was doing my best at staying productive. That included completing a load of laundry, washing dishes, sweeping floors, and vacuuming couches and stair rugs.

But, also while I was cleaning and making sure the house was in good condition, I started thinking about the people who couldn’t celebrate this holiday with their families. I’m not just talking about all of the doctors, nurses, EMT’s, hospital receptionists, and custodians who take care of our family members sick with Covid, though they all should definitely be thought of! Without them, the death count would be through the roof!

I’m also including those who were hurt by others’ ignorance and prejudice. The people who’s lives were taken in excessive force, just because of a factor they have no control of.

I’m talking about Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, Atatiana Jefferson, Ahmed Arbery, Elijah McClain, Stephon Clark, Botham Jean, and countless others before them. You can get technical if you so desire, but point blank: these people died because of the pigment of their skin. That very same pigment where I’ve seen tons of white people slather oils and other gross what-not onto their skin, lay themselves under a hot sun so they can look like a baked potato. Potatoes are for eating, not fashion advice.

It’s 2020, folks.

We shouldn’t be screeching slurs at one another, believing one skin tone is better than another. We shouldn’t be hating one another based on prejudices passed down from generation to generation that make absolutely no sense.

If this is what we’re doing, then we need to take a step back an reevaluate ourselves.

There’s a saying I absolutely love from George Santayana: “Those who do not learn from the past are doomed to repeat it.”

And you know what? I’m starting to see reruns happen in real life. Reruns should be happening to quality TV shows, not in the real world.

Thank you for letting me get through my rant. If I’ve lost a couple followers, then please know I understand, but this is how I feel. People are people, regardless of how they look. Treat everyone you meet with kindness. You never know what demons they’re fighting on the inside, or what kind of day they’re having.

I hope you all have a wonderful, safe, and healthy Fourth of July!

Thought of the Day

It Feels Like Christmas All Over Again!

July 4, 2020July 4, 2020 L.J. LaBree

I’ve been wanting a new laptop for quite some time now.

The one I currently have, a Lenovo 2-in-1 laptop that converts into a tablet, is great and all, but there’s much to be desired recently.

For instance, the loading time for web pages has topped three minutes, which means if I want to change the page or click on a link, I have enough time to set up a cup of tea, fold an entire dryer load of laundry, and wash maybe one dish before all of the contents to be fully loaded. Videos tend to buffer every two minutes, oftentimes needing me to wait at least four to watch three minutes’ worth of content, and a lot of the times the keys get stuck, leaving words such as ‘mmminutes’ or ‘deteeerrrnment’ for me to grumble about and correct.

Sometimes I have to wonder if there just isn’t enough power for that little Lenovo – whom I have affectionately called Hector – to do anything more than respond to emails, write short essays, or switch into tablet-mode to read an online book.

To those of you who immediately pipe up “but Leah, you don’t like to read using tablets to read books!” Yeah, yeah, I still don’t. I like my physical ink-paper-and-glue books better. But reading is reading! Sometimes you must do what you can to keep your brain entertained.

Seeing as this Pandemic is still kicking everyone’s tuckus, and I probably have a much better time of becoming a Virtual Assistant and working from home, I knew Hector wouldn’t make the cut. I like to think of him as one of those kids you pick next to last on Dodgeball Day, but he’s a nice enough kid, so you pick him on your team to make him feel at least somewhat loved.

So, I decided to invest in a newer, more powerful, laptop.

And boy-oh-boy did I choose one!

My new laptop is an HP Pavilion Gaming-grade 15-Inch Laptop, with an Intel Core i5-9300H, NVIDIA including a GeForce GTX 1650, 12GB of bada** RAM, 500GB of Hard Drive Space, and features Windows 10.

My new computer… Boudica!! Isn’t she marvelous?

What does all of that mean? Honestly, I have no clue.

What I do understand, however, is this puppy has 12GB of Ram compared to Hector’s 4, has FOUR core processors (Hector may either have one or two, not sure), and has plenty of space in her hard drive for me to write to my heart’s content. She also has three – count ‘em! – three – working USB ports compared to his only one! (Okay, confession: I accidentally broke one of his USB ports during a really late night of working; I thought it was the plugin for the charger. In my defense, the charger port and USB port are literally the same size and shape – something I didn’t like from the get-go for Hector.)

I also know this computer has been compared to Alienware – Amazon.com shows the two together as a comparison tool – and has a higher rating than the $1,700 professional-grade gaming laptop. Plus, this beauty only cost around the $920 range.

There are only two times where Hector has beaten this beauty. One is in the Hard Drive space – he technically has a whole Terabyte. That terabyte hard drive was put in at a later date because he came with a faulty hard drive, and I was too poor to buy any warranties when I first bought him.

The second is, while Hector has a touchscreen, which often proves useful when his mouse isn’t moving as fast as I would like, the new computer has a regular, non-touchy screen. But that’s something I’m not worried about right now. Personally, having a touchscreen is nice and all, but I’m willing to give up that perk if it means gaining speed and power.

Point is, this new laptop is a beautiful green-and-black beast! She’s gorgeous! She can definitely do what I need her to do! I shall name her… Boudica.

If you get the reference, kudos to you!

Of course, I’ll still be keeping Hector. He still has enough fight in him to do easy stuff. He’ll be great to do light travelling and help me answer emails and write stories.

He just doesn’t have to worry about doing any heavy lifting anymore. Boudica can take care of that.