Hey Everyone!
Life must have decided to kick things up a notch since I last wrote in May.
To summarize:
I was deep in the thralls of apartment hunting – my roommate and I decided that although we enjoyed each other’s company, our desires for the future wouldn’t allow for us to stay under the same roof. So, at the end of our lease, Jazz moved back home to Maine, and I moved into a cozy au pair-esque apartment in Waltham just big enough for myself and Spooky. It wasn’t easy to find this apartment, that’s for sure!
I must have looked at over 15 different apartments, and unfortunately over half of them were barely a step above the exaggerated dives you often see in movies – cracks in the walls, water-damaged wood floors that creak if you look at them wrong, and porcelain tubs with gobs of tape covering the holes where the faucets used to sit.
That wasn’t the worst part though. What took the rest of the cake was the landlords who wanted not only the security deposit and first month, they wanted the last month and for me to cover the realtor’s fee as well… along with an extra $100 a month for “pet fee” and an extra $100 for a ‘potential’ parking spot (meaning you might get one, you might not – it was all first come, first serve). After everything was said and done, the price would have been well over $1,900 a month – something very much out of my budget.
“Why not just get another roommate, Leah?” you might be asking? A couple reasons why that wasn’t in the cards this time around:
- With the 7 other roommates I had in my first apartment in Medford, and the one who lived with me and Jazz in Cambridge who hated my guts because I didn’t let him control every minute of my life (including when I could use the bathroom – there were two in the apartment…), I had my fill of roommates. I needed to find a place where I could live and be unapologetically me. Don’t get me wrong – Jazz was a great roommate! One of the best I’ve ever had! But he was also a rare good roommate. those are becoming harder and harder to find, especially with my luck.
- Building off the ‘finding a good roommate’ bit, I knew it would be increasingly harder to find someone who not only liked cats, but someone who Spooky would like and want to be around. She doesn’t usually like new people and will hide under my bed or wherever she thinks is safest. She especially didn’t like third roommate who often tried to rush at her and grab her when trying to pet her. He didn’t understand when I told him he needed to let her come to him first – let it be on her terms.
It took some time, but I finally did find a place that was well-kept, decent pay, and allowed pets for no extra fee. I even have my own parking spot! There aren’t any washers or dryers on the premises, so I need to go to a laundromat. But that’s okay – just one small compromise for the chance to have a space to myself and Spooky.
I’ve had a chance to slow down and take a few deep breaths. It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to do that – there’s been this perpetual feeling of impending doom and waiting for the other shoe to drop for a while now. It isn’t an easy feeling to get out of, especially when you’ve spent years just trying to survive and see the next sunrise.
I’m praying that this will be the last time I move for a while. It’s hard – and expensive – to move around every year! Constantly packing and unpacking really did a number on my anxiety.
I know it isn’t much, but all I’m asking for at this point is to stop and break the cycle of moving every year. I just want to live in a place where I can feel at peace and be with my cat. I want the chance to take more breaths and not feel like I have to bug-out at a moment’s notice.
L.J. LaBree 