Tag: family

Thought of the Day

What 35 Year Old Me Wishes I Could Say to 15 Year Old Me…

L.J. LaBree

If you had the opportunity to send past you one sentence, what would you say?

I honestly don’t know if I could limit myself to just one sentence. There’s just too much I want to tell her about the life she’s about to embark on.

I want to tell her that high school isn’t going to be her undoing. That the other kids who pick on her and bully her are peaking in their potentials, and she’s only just beginning hers. And I would tell her that the teachers who only stare at her and cannot answer her copious questions don’t act that way because they think her strange and abnormal, but because they are tired; they are frustrated with the lack of funding for real supplies and help, whereas the board get yet another bonus to their paychecks, and they have spent the last of their energy in trying to stay sane enough until the summer vacation.

Okay, maybe a couple teachers think she’s a little oddball, but that’s because they were beaten down to fit inside tiny specific boxes, and those same tactics they suffered through don’t work on her. They haven’t seen a soul so strong and creative in a long time, and they’ve forgotten how to nurture it. They’re scared of her. She represents the student they dreamed of having, yet were too late in receiving. It isn’t her fault, no matter how many times those teachers claim it is. Whatever the offense may be. It isn’t her doing.

I’d tell her about how much she’ll shine in college. Both times. How she was not only allowed to be creative, but encouraged to be so. She would make friends in college. Some who seemed like they would be lifelong friends, only to wave goodbye to once college ended after a couple of years. And she would make friends who reminded her of her bullies, only to become the best friend she craved all throughout her childhood.

She’ll be able to see what the world looks like past the borders of Vacationland. She’ll marvel about how there are states out there flatter than pancakes. And she’ll get so excited at how the ocean in Delaware is sooooo much warmer than the coasts of Maine.

And never in her wildest dreams will she even imagine what it’s like to work at MIT, the top educational institution in the U.S., and one of the leading institutions of the world. And yet, she has the opportunity to work there with the brightest minds this world has to offer.

Bite me, Princeton.

I wouldn’t tell her about only the good things though.

I’d tell her she needs to work harder in her studies. Do her damned homework. Is it boring? Yes, yes it is. Do the teachers ignore her questions and won’t elaborate on the why’s? Pretty much, yeah. But Doing that homework and reading the ‘boring’ books will set her up for better success.

If I had read the financial books and articles earlier, I definitely would have saved myself from a good chunk of the mess I had to sift through. And I wouldn’t have listened to certain people over the years who gave me ‘good advice’ on what I should do about financial aid.

You know who you are. Shame on you.

I’d tell her to not be afraid of the world. Yes, there’s a lot of messed up stuff happening. There always will be. That shouldn’t be her excuse to stay holed up in her room. She needs to go out and take some classes that sound interesting to her. Like knitting, painting, or blacksmithing. One of the writing classes she takes will introduce her to her writing club, and some new friends.

My letter to my 15 year old self would probably be 30 pages, and it still wouldn’t be long enough.

But if I absolutely HAD to limit myself to one sentence…

“Everything we decide to do becomes halfway to possible.”

Also, “Do your damned homework.”

Thought of the Day

No Two 34’s are the Same I Guess…

L.J. LaBree
Daily writing prompt
What were your parents doing at your age?
View all responses

You ever wonder how similar or different your life is, compared to when your parents were your age? Granted, I’m sure we’ve all thought about this at least once in our lives, but to actually sit down and think retrospectively about it?

In little more than a week, I’ll be turning 34.

It’s such a wild concept – I always knew (and hoped) that I would most likely live until well into my 80’s/90’s, but seeing myself becoming an age I’ve long considered deep into adulthood, it’s absolutely mind boggling. I still have random thoughts of “I honestly didn’t expect to live this long”.

In honesty, I don’t feel like an adult at times. At least, not one who is responsible and has everything figured out.

And thinking about my age, I find myself thinking about when my parents were my age.

When my father was 34 years old, our family was living in an apartment building called The Revere House. I don’t remember a whole lot of that apartment, but I do remember having a pink fluffy rug and a white crib in my small bedroom. I also remember KitKat, our pet cat, used to climb into the crib when Mom and Dad weren’t looking and snuggle with me during my naps.

And suddenly in April of 1994, I wasn’t living in the Revere House anymore. I started living in a larger (purple, obviously) bedroom in the house my parents still own to this day. I think it wasn’t long after when we adopted our dog, Kaydee, from next door.

When my mother was 34, she was busy raising me, 6 at the time, and preparing me for the biggest milestone of my entire short life – Kindergarten. Dad was still working nights as a driver at AG, and would often take care of me during the day while Mom was at work. But with this new opportunity to send me to school, Dad would be allowed to actually sleep during the day, instead of snoozing and having the occasional hazard of me trying to play with his nose while he snored.

Today, I can’t say I have a house. Nor can I say I have a 6 year old to prepare for the next 12+ years of learning and educational opportunities. I also can’t say I have a significant other to help around the house and bring in a double-income. But I can say I’ve accomplished other feats. Feats that are just as important.

I can say I’ve accomplished two Degrees, something only a few members in my family have done. I can say I took a chance and moved several states away without prospect of a job. I’ve written two manuscripts, and working on several more. I ended up working for one of the best educational institutes in the entire world.

Just from those aspects, I can safely say my life is vastly different than my parents when they were my age.

But maybe that’s a good thing? They were 34 in the early 90’s, where boom boxes were prevalent and people were convinced a little thing called the World Wide Web wouldn’t take off. For them, it was a time of peace to raise their daughter the best way they knew how.

And for that, I am eternally grateful. They may not have known it at the time, but they prepared me for how my life was going to be when it’s my turn to be 34.

And someday, I’ll be preparing my children for when they’re 34 too. I can’t wait to see how different their 34 is from mine.

Thought of the Day

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays!

L.J. LaBree

Salutations everyone!

First, I want to wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

When I was a kid, I used to dislike Christmas. It wasn’t because of not getting the presents I wanted each year, though to be perfectly honest there wasn’t a whole lot I wanted. Nor was it because of the dreaded after time when I would have to go back to school and endure listening to the other kids brag about where in the Bahamas they went swimming, or how they learned to ski in the Swiss Alps.

I disliked the holidays because it all felt so annoyingly commercialized and how it all felt like a competition of who loved who more – the more gifts someone received, the more they were loved. It didn’t exactly help that sentiment when my grandmother gave my other cousins these wonderful and elaborate gifts, while I received a $5 gift card to Walmart.

What makes it so frustrating is we have several movies and stories that show how rude and corrupt the commercialization is, and how we should be believing in Peace to all and Good Will to Men. And yet, those very sentiments are buried in the constant push to buy buy buy, profit profit profit, and consume consume consume by these toy-making companies. Toys that more often than not break down and crumple within a month, two tops.

For the record, I don’t harbor any feelings of resentment or jealousy toward my cousins. Never have. I knew from a very early age that my grandmother didn’t like me – and if I’m going to be honest, I never really liked her either. Kind of hard to like someone when they call you a devil’s spawn to your face.

But in the past few years, I’ve grown to enjoy the winter festivities. I like listening to the snow fall, gently covering the ground in a fluffy warm blanket of white. I like how the following morning light filters through the dusted trees, how it uses the newly formed icicles to send colors upon colors throughout the quiet woods. I like watching kids play with the snow, excited how it’s the perfect kind of snow to make snowmen. I also love how you get to snuggle up with a cat, a blanket, and a good book, listening to the fire in the wood stove crackles and snaps.

Call it a Charlie Brown moment if you will, but Christmas, Yule, and all other holidays celebrated in this timeframe, it’s all about being with the family, holding each other close, keeping up to date with each other and praying for love, abundance, and protection over one another.

It’s about celebrating each other. Celebrating what we’ve all gone through, knowing that part of our lives is over, and getting ready to welcome in the possibilities that come with the new year.

That’s what I’ve come to celebrate for this time of year.

I wish you all a wonderful Winter Wonderland, a Very Merry Christmas, a Blessed Yule, and a Happy New Year! See you all in 2025!!